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Working as a consultant means changing roles, jobs, positions, towns, and cities and meeting different managers. Some nice and others nasty. It is a change I have learned to contend with in life, and this has helped me handle other areas in my life to be resilient and never to bulge or give up.

I have seen people get anxious for fear of change because they cannot handle change. My friend Catherine stayed in the same position for over seven years until I discussed the topic. I asked if her buttocks had been glued to the same chair. She was pissed off. She got vexed with me and kept her distance for three days. She then rang my line and told me I was correct. It was in 2006.

She explained that she has not done interviews for more than eight years and is scared of change. She is comfortable where she is even though she complained about the salary. She made excuses why she was not willing to move on. I explained that within three years, I had moved to five different positions in the same organisation. We had to list out all the reasons she was scared, and I created a plan on how she could overcome her fears.

Change is an event that occurs when something passes from one state or phase to another. Change is a relational difference between states, especially between states before and after some event. Change is the action of changing something. Change is the result of alteration or modification. It is the balance of money received when the amount you tender is greater than the amount due—all these definitions. I want to go with the relational difference between states as these suits our conversation more.

Change is a constant in life. You cannot avoid change because without change; there is no growth. Change allows one to move forward in life and experience new and exciting things. Life can become stagnant when you don't actively work on evolving yourself. Learning new skills or working on your inner self can bring about changes you never knew were possible. Change can help unlock opportunities you didn't know were available to you.

The concept of change can be unsettling. Many of us would prefer to shy away from changes, whether big or small. However, change is an integral part of your development journey and, most importantly, should be embraced. Change touches all aspects of life but embracing change in your career can contribute enormously toward positive personal development. Change leads to opportunity and experiences.

The better you apply change management, the more likely you will meet your life's objective. You cannot avoid change. The moment you start resisting change, the more challenging your life becomes. You are surrounded by change continually, so it is something you cannot do without. It has a dramatic impact on life. There is no way you can avoid change. You need to embrace it and make your life pleasurable. When you avoid change, it won't be long because it will find you and force you to reconsider how to live your life.

"Your life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change." — Jim Rohn

Change can come to your life through varying means. It could be through promotion or crisis. It could be because of a choice you made. No matter how the change comes, it would help if you learned how to adapt to the change so your life is not disrupted. You can experience change by chance. No matter how the change comes, you are still forced to make a choice.

When you are prepared for change, you have more control over how to react to the change you are dealing with. When you are not ready for a change like Catherine, it is another story altogether and can cause anxiety, panic, and mental disorder. It would help if you prepared for unexpected changes to live your life as an activator of change and not a reactionary.

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." — Lao Tzu

The Covid-19 pandemic was not an anticipated event. Little detail was known, so there was no adequate defence. The Covid-19 pandemic has reminded us that we cannot avoid unexpected events (crises) in our lives, as these events challenge us and force us to step out of our comfort zone. If we ignore or hide away from the challenge of change, we deny ourselves the opportunity to learn and grow.

"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly." — Henri Bergson

Your resilience in life can only grow stronger when you embrace change. Learn to manage your challenges positively. You must not hide away and ignore the opportunities that change can bring to your life. Change can impact your life in ways you cannot say. Managing change in life is key to living a life where you are surviving and thriving.

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything". — George Bernard Shaw

The first method to adapt to change is to change your mindset. Embracing change is stepping into the unknown, and our subconscious will not like the "unknown." so it will resist. Your mindset is the key to success. You cannot control the events of change in your life, but you can control how you react to the impact these events have on your life.

"Life is about choices. Some we regret, some we're proud of. Some will haunt us forever. The message: we are what we chose to be." — Graham Brown

The more you use your power of choice and focus your mindset on positively adapting to change, the more resilient you will be to dealing with the impact that change will bring to your life. You can set the direction you want to live your life if you can know what is essential in your life. With a sense of purpose and meaning in life, you have clarity and focus, and both these elements are necessary to you being able to successfully adapt and manage the impact of change in your life.

I don't hold unto regrets. I can regret an action, but that is it. I learned the lessons I needed to know and used the resources to improve my skills. Regrets significantly impact how you respond to change, and they hold you back in life. Letting go of your regrets is key to you being able to move forward in life. You cannot change what you did or did not do in the past so let it go. The only control you have now is to choose to live in your present and future life.

I don't regret any of the decisions I've made because I have learned something from every choice I make.

Your life is a project. You are not getting things done because you are not planning your life like a project. It would help if you had a project plan in all your life endeavours. A project is a temporary endeavour undertaken to create a unique product, service, or result. The temporary nature of projects indicates that a project has a definite beginning and end.

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You have a birthdate and a death date. Everyone will die one day. You must understand that your presence here on earth is temporary, just like in any project. So, what is life? What does life mean to you? How can you have it all if you don't know what life means to you?

Life is the aspect of existence that processes, acts, reacts, estimates, and evolves through growth, reproduction, and metabolism. The fundamental difference between life and non-life or non-living things is that life uses energy for physical and conscious development. Life is anything that grows and eventually dies, i.e., ceases to proliferate.

Please pause for a moment and answer me. What is the meaning of life to you? If you don't know what life means to you, you will end up living the life of others. What life means to me is not what it means to you. Throughout modern history, one of the questions humans have asked the most is, "What is the meaning of life? We are all eager for meaning, finality and feeling that our lives are worth more than the sum of their parts.

I am not interested in the meaning of life. I am interested in what life means to you. People who believe they know their life's purpose enjoy greater well-being than those who don't. It is not easy to understand what life means to you. You need to research and search for what life means to you. I am not here to answer this question for you. It is your responsibility.

What is your own purpose in life? Purpose can guide life decisions, influence behaviour, shape goals, offer a sense of guidance and give meaning to life. Some people's purpose is connected to vocation—meaningful, satisfying work. For others, their objective lies in their responsibilities toward family and friends. Others seek a sense through spirituality and religious beliefs. Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul. Also, find your wound if you want to find your purpose in life.

Questions that may arise as you think about your purpose include:
•    Who am I?
•    Where do I belong?
•    When do I feel fulfilled?

Your life purpose is your contribution. Some people hesitate to pursue their life purpose because they worry it sounds like a self-serving or selfish quest. However, the true purpose is about recognising your unique gifts and using your gifts to contribute to the world. God made you a solution to the problems of the world. You are a solution architect. To understand your purpose, you need to know the problems you have been assigned to solve. That is the key to your breakthrough. You are the salt of the earth; you are meant to flavour the life of others.

I have given you a clue on how to figure out your purpose. Once you can figure out your passion, you have succeeded in figuring out your purpose. Your passion will lead you right into your purpose. To understand the meaning of life, you must find your gift or gifts. Once you do, nothing can stop you from finding a way to make it happen. Here is when they say you have found purpose. You will become the most powerful person on earth when your life is on course with its purpose.

Gratitude is key to happiness. Expressing gratitude for the things you have and receive makes you happier. Practising gratefulness is the most accessible key to enhancing your satisfaction in your daily life. When you are grateful for the little tiny milestones, it makes you feel more positive and generates extra energy that will motivate you to go all out. You will become fearless. You begin to feel a positive emotion and build stronger relationships. Thus, you will enjoy life.

Are you enjoying life at the moment? How appreciative are you about where you are at the moment or do you complain and lament as you become the author of the book of Lamentation? If you are not appreciative, then what do you need to change? Could it be that you need to change everything? Gratitude is the best medication available for your mental wellness.

With gratitude, your brain is rewired for the better. Gratitude can boost the neurotransmitter serotonin and activate the brain stem to produce dopamine—your brain releases neurochemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which allow you to experience happiness.

You must start living life on your terms. Living life "on your terms" means you choose your path. You decide what you do, where you go, and whom you become. You stop letting people shape your thoughts, and you start thinking for yourself and making your own choices—all of which lead to freedom, fulfilment, and joy.

Stop seeking the approval of others to live life on your terms. What are the terms on which you want to live life? Living life on your own terms means you're living meaningfully, leading a happy and fulfilling life. It is possible to enjoy a purposeful career that gives you financial freedom and balance. As such, you will create and enjoy quality time with your family.

To have it all in life is to be contented. Be content with what you have. Be present in your life, and you will see that you have it all. Don't be absent. Be present with your mind, body, and soul. Be present right now, this very moment.

Don't wait for that special moment to wear those best clothes you are saving in the closet; that best moment is right now. We all "have it all." It's the wonder of life. There is no comparison between this life and that life because they are all equally impressive and profound. I would not trade places with anybody. Life is not about wealth and achievements; it is more than that.

You can have it all, but not all at the same time. Set your priorities, trust your gut, and follow your heart. It is never too late to be who you might have been. Stop procrastinating. You don't need to have it all figured out to take a step forward. Go for it now.

The future is not promised to any person. If you keep looking at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you keep looking at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough. You've got what it takes to have it all, but it will take everything you've got. Believe you can, and you are halfway there.

I dedicate this edition to my mother-in-law Late Mrs Cecilia Ominorisa Aberepikima, who died on August 7, 2022, in Lane Fox REMEO Respiratory Centre Redhill, United Kingdom. May her gentle soul rest in peace.

I regular plan and lay out the topics of the Sure Word Blog Post at the end of each year for the preceding year. I am flexible and can upgrade, downgrade, make changes, improve, delete completely, or replace these topics and subjects.

August, September, and October were incredibly challenging months. It was when my family experienced a considerable loss in our life. We shared the loss of a loved one. I remembered my pain when I passed the news to my children and how they cried and wept. I felt their misery.

We were preparing to drive from London to Redhill, where my mother-in-law was recovering after heart surgery. The centre called to inform us that my mother-in-law had gone to meet with the Lord. She was dear to us. So, you can imagine how her death affected us. My wife just lost her mum. My children just lost their grandma. I lost my mother-in-law.

I received a call three days later from one of my wife's friends, who had called my wife earlier and was not satisfied with the mood of my wife. She felt my wife was not grieving and wanted to know if everything was all right. My optimistic response made her worried. She asked if we were both all right. I told her that we were. She exclaimed, "Why will you be all right? You just lost someone dear and precious." I explained to her that we had gone through our grieving already. How can this be, seeing it is not even up to four days since we experienced the loss?

Learning more about the grieving process can help you understand what you are going through. Grief affects us all in diverse ways. It is important to remember there is no 'normal' way to grieve. Most people want you to grieve in a certain way. The many distinct aspects of grief can come as a shock. One of the most frequent questions is, 'is this normal?' The people calling were in shock at the time they called. I tried to explain to them their current state of mind. I use the SARAH change management methodology to explain how they feel, how we think, and the different stages they will go through. We are not all in the same place of grieving at the same time.

Everyone goes through the SARAH method of change when there is a change. The change could be anything. The methodology focuses more on business change. SARAH's method of change is the emotion people go through when they experience an event that comes with a change.

The SARAH model of change of shock, anger, rejection, acceptance, and hope are normal emotions that people go through and should be expected in a new business change initiative. Although this is a huge topic in Six Sigma, it is an emotional aspect we all experience daily.

SHOCK.
The consultant approached my wife and me two weeks before the death of my mother-in-law. He tried to tell us indirectly that all data and road leads to death, and we should start preparing our mind towards death. He was honest, caring, and polite. He was even patient with us.

Shock is a critical condition brought on by the sudden drop in blood flow through the body. Shock may result from trauma, heatstroke, blood loss, an allergic reaction, severe infection, poisoning, severe burns, or other causes. When a person is in shock, their organs are not getting enough blood or oxygen.

We were shocked from getting the fact that my wife would lose her mum, my children their grandmother, and I will lose my mother-in-law. There was a sudden drop in blood flow through my body. I was sweating on my palms. I put on faith and believed that God would turn this around. I went to her bedside and began to pray for her.

ANGER.
Once the shock subsided, I became angry. Shock can lead to anger as people begin to understand what the business change may mean to them. Here, I began to understand how her death would affect the family. Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings or motivate you to find solutions to problems. I started thinking about how to mitigate issues arising from her death.

REJECTION.
The next stage is rejection. People may reject the idea of the new business change initiative and wish to be left alone and continue with their existing ways of working. Deep inside, people at this stage may also appreciate that the business change initiative is happening and stopping the initiative is not a plausible option. This stage is also the cycle's lowest point; the only way from here is up.

I struggled, but I needed to be strong for my family. My children are not aware of what is coming. They always visit the hospital with my wife and me, and I know when the time comes, they will understand. We will be there to support them as they go through their SARAH emotion.

ACCEPTANCE.
At this stage, people come to terms with the business change initiative and are ready to accept it.

My wife visited the Respiratory Centre on Wednesday and returned around 1.30 AM the next day. We were unable to talk. On Thursday around 22:00 hrs, she told me her mother's health had declined, and it looked like this was it. I could not sleep. I came back to my computer and continued to work. That was when I accepted the change.

We visited every Sunday from 13:00 hours, but we were called by 08:30 that her health had deteriorated more, and we should start coming. We decided to leave earlier than we usually do. While getting ready at 10:00 hours, they called and gave us the news of her death.

HOPE.
The final stage is hope. It is when people begin to see the positive sides of the new business change initiative and its benefits to them and the organisation. In this case, we begin to see the positive side of the death of our mother, grandmother, and mother-in-law.

Hope is an optimistic state of mind based on an expectation of positive outcomes concerning events and circumstances in one's life or the world. Hope is forward-looking faith.

Despite our loss and the shock, anger, rejection, and acceptance of the event, we have hope and look forward to the things we hoped her death would bring as a positive to our lives.

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The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.
― Elizabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler

Fear is like a ghost. It hides behind different things in that it sometimes becomes challenging to identify that all your problems in life are rooted in fear. In the Bible, Job, a wealthy man, lost all his wealth the same day his ten children were killed in a burning building. It was not a surprise to Job.

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Your imagination matters. If you imagine evil, your mindset will attract evil. Job said the things he feared most had happened to him. His imagination became a reality. Job is saying the root cause of his misfortune was his underlining fear. He was afraid to lose everything he had lost. His fear attracted the things he was scared of. His fear had imprisoned him for so long. He could not overcome it until the fear overwhelmed him. He became a slave to his fears and lived in their torment. Now, he has to liberate himself from the fear that has kept him in bondage.

Fear is the root cause of all human suffering. Peel anything back far enough, determine and analyse the natural source and you will agree that fear is at the root of all your problems. It would be best if you looked for a way to annihilate fear despite its ubiquitous presence. Fear is false evidence appearing real. Fear is not real until we make it real. Fear is just energy. It is just energy moving through the body-mind. And the body-mind is also just energy. So, fear is just energy moving through energy.

The first misstep is calling this energy anything but energy. The moment you give it a name or definition, such as fear, anxiety, worry, paranoia, etc., you make the fear real. You make it a ‘thing,’ even though it is not. It immediately creates resistance to it, and that resistance is at least 50% of your discomfort. If you say it’s just energy moving through other energy, you reduce your pain by at least half. You do not want to annihilate energy because energy cannot be annihilated.

Another part of “your” energy is pure Awareness, that part which notices what’s happening but can only notice neutrally, dispassionately. This awareness or witness does not engage, judge, or react to the ‘fear’ energy. It just sees it, that is all. So, if you drop back into the awareness and watch, witness whatever energy flows through whatever other energy, you are free.

Fear of failure, fear of not being reliable, fear of inadequacy, fear of not being good enough, fear of success, fear of letting go of control, fear of being alone, fear of abandonment, fear of discomfort, fear of failing, fear of missing out, fear that you are not OK as you are or your life is not OK as it is, fears that some ideas will not come true. And these all boil down to the same fear: fear that you will not be OK, that you are not good enough. A lack of trust in yourself and the present moment.

On the surface, it could be tough to relate your procrastination, financial difficulties, and relationship problems to fear. The truth is that every named problem has its root in fear, the things you fear most. Fear is everywhere. Everyone is afraid of something. In the end, those who triumph over fear are the ones that rise above their fears. They lord over the fear. They conditioned the fear to serve them rather than serving the fear.

Procrastination is caused because we fear failure. Following your dreams and goals is discomforting; getting where you want takes time and hard work. As the brain tends to fear potential failure, it prefers tasks that are more comfortable and easier to do, like scrolling through social media or checking e-mails, because, for one part, it’s entertainment which makes us feel good. Also, it reduces stress and the fear of missing out on something important.

We cannot eliminate all fear because fear is a part of us. It lives deep in us. There is no way we can “destroy” fear, so we must welcome fear with open arms. It’s part of us and ever will be, so instead of viewing fear as an enemy, stopping yourself from embracing the change, view it as a friend and let fear drive you to extensive heights.

Fear is not the enemy. I wanted to say how you can conquer fear and then remembered I just said that fear is part of who we are. You cannot fight who you are. To realise your potential, you must know more about who you are and how who you are can best bring out the attributes that will enhance your success in your endeavours in life. Fear should not be a battle; it is a gift. I should have used the headline “The Gift of Fear.” I researched and found many books with that title. I thought I had just made a huge discovery, a big title for another book.

Fear is us. Fear is you. Fear is me. We live in an era of constant change, which is scary. We are afraid that we will not be OK in the chaos of change, that we will fail, that we will be judged, and that life will not turn out OK. We are afraid of another pandemic even when we are still trying to survive the current pandemic. Fear is a part of us, so we should not try to “destroy” it. It cannot be destroyed because while we can dissipate one particular fear in one specific moment, we will still have fears. All our lives have fear as part of our nature and characteristics. It cannot be eradicated. Fear is an essential part of life. Fear is part of our composition. It is right in our DNA.


We can begin to create and build upon our self-trust when we accept our fear and embrace it with love and compassion. When we start to see fear in this way when the feeling comes up, we no longer push it away or resist it being there because we think it is terrible. Still, instead, we delight in its presence, knowing we are going through a moment of personal growth. We begin to understand that fear is there to help us grow as people and build self-love and self-trust.

It would be best if you stopped seeing fear as a negative emotion so you can benefit from your fears. Fear arises with the threat of physical, emotional, or psychological harm, real or imagined. While traditionally considered a “negative” emotion, fear is essential in keeping us safe as it mobilises us to cope with potential danger. A little bit of fear is standard. Fear helps you instinctively protect yourself from harm. Your fear might help you to recognise when you are about to do something dangerous, and it could help you to make a safer choice.

Your mind is everything. What you become is what you think.